Six days and not counting. This might be the first time in 20 years or so that I haven't been checking days off my calendar on route to opening day. In fact, until right now, 2pm on Wednesday (we'll call it a long lunch break) I haven't even watched more than an inning of a Boston Red Sox spring training game. What's wrong with me? Am I sick? Has two World Series Titles in four years spoiled me? Is it because the Big Schill got hurt and I'll miss seeing his lack of spring training stomach? Or could it be because Coco Crisp just scooped up a ground ball to his right and when trying to throw it in to second, the ball went about 10 feet straight into the ground? (You know opposing Scouts just dropped their offer of a 50th round pick to 100th round pick for Coco straight up). The answer is no, no, no and no. The truth of the matter is, for the time being anyway, my usual Fenway fever has been sidetracked by the Gang Green.
How cool is this spring going to be? We have the 54-13 Boston Celtics. The best record in the NBA and maybe best team to match. And the 2007 Champion Red Sox, coming into the new season with just about all of the key cogs from last year, along with a couple of nice additions in Sean Casey and possibly Bartolo Colon. It's pretty cool knowing that 2 or 3 times a week through April, Boston fans will have great sports options.
And then when May rolls around, the weather heats up, baseball will feel like baseball, and the Celtics will be gearing up for the playoffs. You have to admit, going to a Red Sox game in April can be pretty chilly. The only thing I can't complain about is that by the time I get back to my seat, my beers are colder than they were fresh off the keg. I'm not one to ever let a beer get warm on me, like half the beer queers out there, but I'm happy to admit that in April my beers do get colder. In any event, when not attending a Sox or Celts game, there can be a sports dilemma for home viewers.
In case your clueless and need assistance on how to enjoy a night when sports of conflicting times occur, here's what I do. Example one: Celtics and Sox on same night.
Don't even get to the 7 or 7:30pm conflict without a little pre-game plan at least once a week. I'm assuming you're all golfers, even if not, become one. It's fun, something to do, and plenty of guys in the wrong relationship(or right one) golf out of enjoyment, or to keep from going home to Mrs. Menstrual. Regardless, find a course that drops its rates from somewhere between $10-$20 after 5pm. They are out there! Grab a foursome you don't mind, or at least can beat, stuff your bag with a bunch of beers, tee off, and knock out 14 or so holes before dark. It's the best deal going.
After tearing up the course, literally, from taking big enough divots to bury a family of squirels in the fairway, head on over to the nearest local establishment. Food, beer, Keno and a bunch of flat screen TV's. Now you've found sports fans' week night sanctuary. See that, you're almost there. It's game time, you got a nice buzz, you don't feel the back pain you'll wake up with from those 150 hacking swings, and you're in a bar far away from home. And the kicker......the Celtics and Sox are on in High Def.
You might have one Flat screen at home and think you're a big shot, but you still are likely to deal with this. You're sitting in your favorite recliner, feet are up, one of your kids is crying, the other screaming, your glaring wife's standing with her arms crossed, right in front of that 50" Plasma TV God that brings you to sports heaven. Then with all odds against you (like Carl Everett enrolling in Paleontology grad school) your shaking hand dares to hit that last channel button every 5 seconds between games. Your flipping back and forth more times than the night you finally asked that lady in front of you to be your wife. Celtics, Red Sox, Celtics, Red Sox, wife steaming, kids screaming, wife yelling, kids smelling....you get the idea. Screw that plan. Get out!
Sad but true and probably worse for some. I'm lucky enough to have the best of both worlds. I can do the golf/ bar night out, or stay home and flip like mad between games. I made the right move. Now it's up to you guys. It's only has to be once a week and it really is a great idea. It keeps you sane. Me and three of my brothers have been doing it for many years and until were legless, we'll keep on swinging it.
Whether your game sucks or not, who cares? The night ends in a bar with your friends and favorite teams, and usually some girl who was probably half decent before she got old and heavy, with a passion for cigarettes and cheap whiskey. Aside from that, It's a good time and it's good for you. If none of this appeals to you, just keep on sipping those warm beers with that toe tapping lady blocking your TV. It must be better than what I'll be doing. Blasting fairway 3-woods on top of aging, slow ladies in front of us, chugging cold beers with the guys, watching the Celts and Sox, and, oh yeah, most importantly, not doing what your doing. Be a man! Got that Disgustang Sally?
Keywords: base ball, Basketball, Boston Celtics, Boston Red Sox, golf, PGA
